Hot Tip for Planning the Perfect Murder

Rule Number One: Do not leave search terms like "ethylene glycol death human" on your computer.

James Keown poisoned his wife with Gatorade and antifreeze over a period several months before administering a final, fatal does on Sept. 4, 2004. He killed her for her $250,000 life insurance policy because he was deeply in debt.

The defense told the jury that Julie Keown could have committed suicide or accidentally ingested the chemical. No antifreeze was found in the Keowns' home. However, a computer expert told the court that two days before Julie Keown entered the hospital the first time, James Keown's computer showed he did a search using the words "ethylene glycol death human."

Keown has been sentenced to life imprisonment without parole.

AP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:26 AM | Permalink

Wife Arrested for Grabbing Her Husband's Genitals

Apparently, in Florida it is against the law to grab your husband's genitals and hold them in a vice-like grip! I wonder what led to that being put on the statute books.

Sadine Harris obviously wasn't aware of this law and having "gone busting into the bedroom and grabbing her husband'scrotch and refusing to let go" she has been charged with felony domestic battery.

Mr Harris "had to pry Sadine's fingers off of his his genitals and force her off of him," according to the deputy's report.

Wouldn't you just love to hear the 911 call for that one?

nwfdailynews.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:14 AM | Permalink

THINK YOU'RE BEING SCREWED FOR GAS?

THIS WOMAN WAS!

Officers in Kentucky say they have arrested a woman who traded sex for a $100 gasoline card and other 'luxuries.'

The woman, thirty four year old Angela Eversole, was charged with prostitution and doing business without an occupational license. She pleaded not guilty at her arraignment yesterday. The man who paid the woman has also been arrested.

Cincinnati.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:27 AM | Permalink

DAZED AND CONFUSED IN AMSTERDAM

If you thought US law was an ass, just be glad you don't live in Holland!

A new Dutch law has banned the smoking of tobacco inside cafes and restaurants but it continues to be perfectly legal to smoke cannabis. The result? Smokers in the renowned coffee shops of Amsterdam, where people flock from all over the world to buy and smoke cannabis legally, are now having to roll their joints and fill their pipes with pure marijuana.

Those who cannot take the effects of smoking their leaf of choice in its purest form are having to go out onto the streets, where smoking tobacco is legal, so they can 'dilute' their joints. However, smoking marijuana out on the streets is illegal.

And how is this policed?

Apparently, the Dutch Food and Consumer Product Safety Authority has trained 200 inspectors to detect the difference between a "mixed or a pure joint."

The world is going to pot.

Daily Telegraph

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:10 AM | Permalink

BAD DAY AT THE OFFICE

Life wasn't easy for the clerk in the convenience store. A steady trudge of customers, all of them convinced they were the only ones to need service, all of them in too much of a hurry to pass the time of day with the lowly store assistant. Things couldn't really get any worse. Could they?

Yup!

Just after midnight a man walked in and demanded money. When our poor, lowly clerk refused, the man snatched a banana from the counter and started hitting the clerk with it.

You know, everybody has their threshold, and our clerk had reached his. He drew a knife. Banana man split.

MSNBC

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:55 AM | Permalink

IS THIS A STICK UP?

A man dressed as a penis disrupted graduation day at the Saratoga Performing Arts Center. Allegedly, Calvin Morett brought a halt to proceedings as diplomas were being handed out by marching across the stage wearing an inflatable six foot penis costume. He was, apparently, easy to catch because he kept tripping over his balls. The inflatable ones that is.

The upstanding young man was ticketed for disorderly conduct, a violation, and will face the charges in City Court on Tuesday.

Times Union

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:46 AM | Permalink

COSMETIC SURGEON ARRESTED FOR DRIVING WRONG WAY UP RAMP

Dr Jan Adam is the doctor who performed cosmetic surgery on the mother of rap artist Kanye West, Dr Donda West. Dr West died last year from complications that developed after her surgery.

Apparently Jan Adams' medical license has expired. Not only that, yesterday he was arrested for driving up a ramp the wrong way.

I can't quite work out how you drive up a ramp the wrong way, perhaps you have to be drunk to work that one out, which is exactly what happened in this case. Adams has been charged with DUI having failed a field sobriety test and being found to be driving on a suspended license. He is currently being held at the Solano County Jail.

There is no way I would let somebody who can't tell one end of a ramp from the other take a scalpel to my nose!

Stupid Celebrities

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:29 AM | Permalink

FELONIOUS ASSAULT WITH FORK AND CHICKEN

A man stands accused of stabbing his mother in the back with a dinner fork, clubbing another woman over the head with a 10-pound frozen chicken, and resisting arrest by Jackson County police officers. The man is currently residing at Jackson County Jail.

Personally, I blame the parents.

It's obvious, isn't it, that if the mother had fulfilled her motherly duties and had cooked the chicken, her son would have had something tastier to stab with his fork.

Michigan Live

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:52 AM | Permalink

BUT HE SEEMED LIKE SUCH A NICE MAN...

The woman from Myrtle Beach who reported her car stolen shouldn't have been surprised really.

She loaned the car, a 2008 Kia Spectra , to a man she met in a parking lot. After chatting for twenty minutes or so, the man, who was accompanied by two prostitutes, asked if he might borrow the woman's car to go buy some crack cocaine. He couldn't pay her cash but offered her some cocaine in exchange for the car loan , saying that he would return the following night.

She's still waiting.

Myrtle Beach Online

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:43 AM | Permalink

DRUNK IN CHARGE OF A WHEELCHAIR!

A man found asleep in his motorized wheelchair on a northern Australian highway has been charged with drunk driving.

The man was spotted by police officers on Friday morning as they passed by the exit lane near the city of Cairns. Other motorists swerved to get around the man, who was slumped in the stationary chair right on the exit lane.

When breath tested, the 64 year registered a blood alcohol reading of over six times the legal limit and he was charged with operating a vehicle while drunk. He has been ordered to report to court on July 7.

Apparently, the man was making the nine-mile trip to from his home to his friend's house. He faces a stiff penalty - and to get over it he will, of course, need a stiff drink.

My Way News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:43 AM | Permalink