...YOU HAVE TWO TO CHOOSE FROM!

John Fowler was released from jail at 3:29 pm. on Sunday, having been arrested by the Highway Patrol for driving while suspended and for operating his vehicle in an unsafe manner.

Two-and-a-half hours later, at about 6 pm, a female jailer, Stephanie Criter, reported the theft of $10 and three credit cards from her purse, which was inside her car. She had seen Fowler standing by her car just after he had been released - in fact, she had spoken to him when he asked her for a cigarette. A short time later, there was a report that a man had tried to use Crites credit card.

The recently released inmate was caught soon after. He was found in possession of three credit cards and a baggie of marijuana. Within a few hours of being released, he was back behind bars.

So, we can forgive Fowler for mistake number one - even though he was thieving even before he left the grounds of the jail, we can put that down to his excitement at being released.

But trying to use a stolen credit card that belongs to the opposite sex - nope, we can't forgive that one!

Durant Daily Democrat

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 12:01 PM | Permalink

CSI star, Gary Dourdan, saw the real CSI at work recently when police officers found certain substances in his car - those substances are believed to be cocaine, heroin, Ecstasy, plus various prescription drugs.

The 41 year old dumb celebrity was found asleep in the driver's seat of a parked car before dawn on Monday in Palm Springs, about 100 miles east of LA. Of course, not wishing to draw any attention to himself, the star had parked on the wrong side of the street and left his interior light on. See, they get addicted to the spotlight these people, I suspect he continuously opens the door of his refrigerator too!

He was released on $5,000 bail. What's that phrase about life imitating art?

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:52 AM | Permalink

Police are on the look out for a knife wielding rabbit in the English village of King's Somborne. On four occasions somebody, or something, has cut through the netting protecting Frank Fahy's broccoli patch, each time stealing a single head of the health-promoting green vegetable. Seventy-one year old Mr Fahy reported the thefts to the parish council and local police officer, Martin Benton, said the crime should be taken very seriously.

Quite so, as Mr Fahy said, each head is "worth about 50p. It is a bit distressing. My wife and I like to eat our broccoli. I have now put up a notice saying I have reported the thefts to the police."

David Bidwell, Chairman of the Parish Council, commented, "It sounds trivial, but Frank has been the victim of theft. It is very disappointing to grow something on an allotment and have it taken away. At first he thought it might be a natural occurrence - maybe a rabbit. But on closer inspection, it was clear a knife had been used. And rabbits don't carry knives."

Well, we don't think they carry knives, but nobody knows that for sure. That's the fundamental error in the plan so far, rabbits probably can't read either, so they are unlikely to take notice of Mr Fahy's warning sign.

Daily Mail

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:41 AM | Permalink

BUT THIS TIME IT WAS THE 'HAPPY' COUPLE, NOT THE GUESTS, WHO WERE INVOLVED IN THE PUNCH UP!

David M. Wielechowski, promised to love and honor his new bride,Christa Vattimo, but the couple exchanged blows as well as vows at their wedding on Saturday.

The post-wedding celebrations at the Holiday Inn were strenuous and physical; as they began arguing outside their room, Wielechowski "used a karate-style kick with his leg to kick Christa, knocking her to the floor." The new bride screamed and two guests from another wedding party ran to her aid, but she turned against them and assaulted them. The fight continued on into the elevator, and down into the lobby, where the newlyweds picked up metal planters, complete with plants, and threw them into the elevator at the two would- be rescuers.

The rescuers were rewarded for their concern with cuts, a missing tooth, and a suspected broken thumb.

Damage at the hotel was estimated to be in the region of $1,000. The new Mrs Wielechowski left the celebrations with her father, and Mr Wielechowski left alone. He was sporting a blackened and swollen left eye, tuxedo pants, a bloodied T-shirt and one shoe.

The couple were each charged with simple assault, criminal mischief and disorderly conduct. The bride was also charged with public drunkenness.

Well, they say the first ten years are the worst!

Post Gazette

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:23 AM | Permalink

Only one line needed here:

A plane carrying a cargo of 440 lbs of hashish and bound for a private airstrip in Spain, crashed on Friday when the pilot completely missed the airfield and landed in a nearby gully. Two crew members died; one Spanish, the other Moroccan.

Sun Sentinel

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:59 AM | Permalink

Warning: This is a story that will make you inwardly snigger, and then feel guilty cos you did!

In 2002, Huey Granger filed a report with local police claiming that his daughter had been attacked by her boyfriend. Granger is, apparently, mentally disabled. While Granger was at the police station, officers Keith Peterson and Jeff Thames decided to give him a "lie detector test" to check out the veracity of his story. The test involved putting a lampshade on Granger's head and attempting to get him to change his story.

Granger is now asking for $2 million in a civil lawsuit against the two men - the City have already wriggled out of the situation by saying that, as there was no documented "pattern or history of abuse" they could not be held responsible for the officers' actions.

At a hearing on Friday, Granger said, "I''m asking for $2 million tax free in my pocket and my insurance paid for the rest of my life."

Hmm - when will the light go on that he doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of getting that?

The case is scheduled for November 3rd this year.

MSNBC

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:49 AM | Permalink

I really couldn't decide which section this one should be posted under; I eventually settled for Dumb Justice because some lawyer is actually working on this case!

A Tunisian family are claiming that their 20 year old daughter was the victim of phone sex rape! This has been confirmed by a doctor who claims that, following the incident, the girl's hymen was absent - despite the fact that she was a virgin. Yeah, right!

Anyway, the story goes that the girl was indulging in phone sex with a 30 year old man, when she was heard to scream out; she says that she experienced vaginal bleeding.

Perhaps she misunderstood the phrase 'phone sex.' Ouch!

UPI

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:32 AM | Permalink

Florida grandmother, Dorothy Williams, said that her eight-year grandson "gets very upset and he loves to hit." She's not wrong, the second grade has been arrested for allegedly punching his teacher in the face in an argument over crayons.

Deshawn Williams was cuffed and arrested after leaving his teacher badly bruised. His behavior was so violent, that, when he left school, his wrists were in handcuffs and his teacher was badly bruised. He seemed clueless as to the inappropriateness of his behavior, saying, "I threw the chair over there and then she wants to press charges on me." He couldn't understand what all the fuss was about, after all, he said, he only hit her two times and not in the face, Oh, right, that's okay then, as long as he avoided the face!

Of course, the solution is simple - according to Dorothy anyway, she says, "if she can't deal with him, put him in someone else's classroom. If it's a male, whatever, and let them restrain him." She said the female teacher shouldn't be in that line of work if she couldn't restrain the tiny bully.

I have a problem with the name Dorothy - I always see Judy Garland in her ruby red slippers. I think this Dorothy is more like the Wicked Witch of the West, with the brain power of the Scarecrow.

First Coast News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:20 AM | Permalink

Troubled British singer, Amy Whitehouse, has just scored another massive hit - on a a 38 year-old man in the street. The singer had enjoyed a night out on the town and was rather the worse for wear; a good Samaritan offered to hail her a cab for which his reward was a head butt from the singer. She had also punched a guy in the face because he refused make way for her at the pool table.

Later she walked into a lampost while smoking cannabis (or something!). That's not her usual sort of smack, is it.

She wasn't so much bar-hopping as bar-staggering. At one point, Winehouse apparently screamed "I am a legend, get these people out. I want to take drugs." Well, she had at least two hits!

She was due to be questioned today (Friday) on the grounds of assault.

The Sun

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:01 AM | Permalink

A Louisville man was arrested on Sunday morning after been seen at a gas station, where he was pumping gas into an imaginary car. The gas station clerk had called the police after seeing Joshua L Moore filling up an imaginary vehicle. When police arrived at the gas station, they immediately noticed a whiff of marijuana coming from Moore and, when they searched him, officers found two large bags of marijuana, together with a small amount of ecstasy. The police also say that the mobile phone and the large amount of cash they found on Moore was indicative of drug trafficking.

Nope - the large amount of money came from the fact that he drives an imaginary vehicle - and they cost far less to maintain. Now, if he could just find a source of imaginary fuel, he could avoid fuel tax and save even more money.

Moore, 25, was charged with three counts of trafficking. (that's real trafficking, not imaginary trafficking).

MSNBC

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:01 AM | Permalink

In the Democratic Republic of Congo, West Africa, there has been a rise in the incidence of penis stealing, the trend is growing so rapidly that police have arrested 13 men on charges of using black magic to shrink or steal penises (or should that be penii - I've never experienced more than one penis before!).

It was last week that this spate of willy witching started and radio call-in shows were quickly inundated with callers who advised listeners to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings. I have no idea what the wearing of a gold ring has to do with nicking somebody's nuts; perhaps its symbollock.

Ten years ago, in Ghana, 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by an angry mob - or perhaps they were beaten for the gold rings they were all wearing...

So gentlemen: beware of men wearing gold rings when you're out and about. You have been warned...

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:33 AM | Permalink

In Australia, police tasered a naked man who refused to come out of the roof cavity where he had been hiding.

The police responded to a phoned in report of a man jumping a back fence in a residential area. When officers arrived they found a pair of jeans and, when they searched the house, found a naked man hidden in the rafters. The man refused to come down and started to smash the roof in an effort to escape, so the police used their stun gun.

The 23 year old was taken to hospital with minor injuries and has been charged with damaging property, stealing a motor vehicle; breach of bail and two counts of outstanding warrants.

There is no news on the condition of the cavity.

News.com.au

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 06:54 AM | Permalink

You need some background information for this one:
One of Britain's favorite family dishes is Shepherd's Pie - minced lamb, carrots, and gravy, topped with mashed potato. When I was at school, I was taught to put sliced tomatoes on the top of the potatoes before serving - I went to a very posh all girls grammar school (a very long time ago). Okay, on with the story:

After a day spent drinking, Michael Garvin cooked his brother John a shepherd's pie, for which he expected a grateful response. John, however, was less than impressed - he wanted his dish topped with sliced tomatoes. As a trained chef, Michael disapproved of the sliced tomato topping, feeling it a wholly inappropriate garnish.

The two brothers could not agree on the niceties of shepherd's pie presentation and, to ram home the point that tomatoes were de rigeur, he hit his brother over the head with a shovel. When chef, Michael, still wouldn't concede the point, John threatened to petrol bomb the philistines apartment.

John was arrested and spent the night in the cells of Blackburn police station. At the subsequent court case, he admitted a breach of the peace, fined $400, and was bound over to keep the peace for 12 months.

By the way, in England it seems everybody has an opinion on the topic of shepherd's pie; District Judge Peter Ward told the defendant that, in his view, there was no need for a layer of tomatoes on a shepherd's pie.

Maybe it's a class thing?

Daily Telegraph

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 06:08 AM | Permalink

...THE DEPUTY SHOT HIMSELF!

Sergeant Wade Johnson, of Holmes County Sheriff's Office was recovering in hospital yesterday morning, after accidentally shooting himself in the pelvis.

The incident happened when Johnson responded to a call from the local Burger King, apparently, he was removing or repositioning his secondary weapon when it discharged. The bullet passed through his abdominal organs and lodged in one of his pelvic bones.

Hmm - is that your secondary weapon, or are you just pleased to see me?

Coshocton Tribune

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:37 AM | Permalink

...IT WOULD HAVE LASTED LONGER!

In Italy, a man has been given a suspended sentence for staring too hard at a woman who sat in front of him on a train. The man, who is in his 30's, was sentenced to 10 days in prison and a $63 fine after the 55-year old woman filed a complaint for sexual harassment.

The man and woman met twice; the first time, the man sat next to the woman but she felt he had moved too close for comfort. The next day, the man sat in front of the same woman and according to her complaint, stared at her for the whole journey.

I wonder if she ever considered that the man might have been counting her wrinkles.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:29 AM | Permalink

In England, those annoying traffic calming bumps in the road are known as sleeping policeman, but the following story gives a whole new meaning to the phrase!

When the Malaysian police officer broke into the Mercedes Benz car in order to steal its stereo, he was so tanked up on drugs that he fell asleep in the plush seats. He was, of course, arrested.

The rest of the article makes me think that the Malaysian police force must work to their own special agenda - apparently, when the sleeping policeman was arrested, he led police to three other police-linked members of an alleged gang who specialize in break-ins and motorcycle theft.

They've got links with the drugs world too, if the intoxicated sleeping beauty is anything to go by.

CBS

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:59 AM | Permalink

AND IS DISCOVERED TO BE CARRYING METHAMPHETAMINE!

You would think, wouldn't you, that the British presenter of CNN's Business Traveler show would know that New York Central Car Park has a 1am curfew - although he says that he didn't, which is why he was there at 3.40 am on Friday morning. And is why he was arrested.

The unwanted police attention led to the discovery of a plastic bag containing what was believed to be methamphetamine. Quest has been ordered to undergo six months counseling - if he complies, the case will be dismissed.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:49 AM | Permalink

...GOODNESS, GRACIOUS, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!

When police called to a disturbance in Ontario fired a taser at a 31 year old man, they didn't know that he had a "flammable object" object in his pants. The stun-gun ignited whatever it was, causing burns to the man's hand and thigh that necessitated hospital treatment.

It will be a while before he causes any further disturbances.

TheSpec.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:04 AM | Permalink

I've been trying to come up with a US equivalent of Britain's Pete Doherty, the shambling wreck of a man who was once supermodel Kate Moss's lover. I don't think you have anybody quite so pathetic!

Latest news about the ex Baby Shambles singer is from jail, where he is serving a 14 week sentence for drug offenses. Apparently, the dumb celebrity has been transferred into the high security unit after prison officials informed him that there was a plot to attack him. Apparently he has been borrowing from other inmates so that he can buy luxuries, like toiletries and cigarettes. Trouble is, he hasn't been paying the money back and he has asked ex Kate Moss for help in clearing his debts. So he's not only stupid, he has no pride either.

Gonna be a long 14 weeks I think.

ITN

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:53 AM | Permalink

BUT THIS BEATS EM ALL

A teacher accused of viewing pornography on a school computer said he accessed the adult images because he wanted to see if the school district had installed software to block such images.

Now the teacher is suing Cedarburg School District in a $9 million civil rights lawsuit, accusing them of violating his right to free speech in his union activities. The teacher says that he has been unable to get a job since being fired. That of course has nothing to do with the fact that he went into the school on a Sunday, Googled the word 'blonde' and then looked at the resulting images for over a minute.

Of course, he did it all for the wellbeing of the children, and I suppose simply asking if the District had installed software to block the images wouldn't have assured him of getting a truthful answer.

JSonline

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:37 AM | Permalink

Daniel Santos Ramirez left behind his wallet when he checked out of the Wal-Mart store on Sunday afternoon. He also left behind $420 and a pouch containing nine baggies of methamphetamine. However, he was not commenting on the lack of product choice at the store; he was actually on parole for supplying drugs.

When police checked his home they found a shotgun and drug-related items. Mr Ramirez is a very silly boy - even if he is 54 years old - he was due to get off parole this week.

kcra3.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:30 AM | Permalink

Bridget Bardot has been charged for the fifth time since 1997 with inciting racial hatred. The 73 year old former blond bombshell went on trial on Tuesday for insulting Muslims. She faces a two-month suspended prison sentence and a fine of $23,760 for commenting that the Muslim community was destroying France and "imposing its acts." Previous comments from Bardot are not confined to Muslims, although she has said that France is being invaded by sheep-slaughtering Muslims; she has also published a book that attacks gays, immigrants and the unemployed.

Reading this, its hardly surprising that the prosecutor in the case is quoted as saying:

"I am a little tired of prosecuting Mrs Bardot."

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:50 AM | Permalink

IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA TO GROPE THEM!

The 24 year old nanny who was sued by Rob Lowe and his wife for violating a confidentiality agreement, has claimed that the star groped and sexually harassed her, and has filed a counter-suit against the couple.

Nanny Jessica Gibson says that Lowe stuck his hands into her panties, grabbed her bottom, exposed himself, masturbated in front of her and showed her pornography. She also claims that Mrs Lowe told the nanny that she would never get married because only married men would be attracted to her. Nice eh?

Gibson is seeking $50,000 in general damages plus unspecified punitive damages and unpaid wages; she was paid $18 an hour by the Lowes.

This is not the first time that 'Lowest of the Lowe' Rob has been involved in a sex scandal - in the 1980's he was videotaped having sex with two young women, one of them only a teenager.

Seems that Rob's interests are definitely beLOWE the waist when it comes to young women.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:39 AM | Permalink

In Australia, for the second time today, a nervous criminal threw-up big time outside the post office he robbed. This, of course, left a wonderfully convenient pool of DNA for the cops to play with.

As a result, Ahmed Habib Jalloul, was found guilty of aggravated robbery in the District Court in Adelaide and received a three and a half year sentence, with a non-parole period of one year and four months.

Messenger Community News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:19 AM | Permalink

This dumb criminal is still at large, but whoever it is needs to be found quickly!

In Brisbane, Australia, police have had to evacuate a large area and fire services have been placed on standby after the discovery of military bombs in a recycling plant.

A spokesman said that several military rounds were found when cleaning through dumped items.

Where's Hans Blix when you need him?

news.com.au

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:12 AM | Permalink

Okay, just a word of advice here - if your shipment of marijuana is delivered by cops, something is going on!

On Thursday morning, the Sheboygan County drug enforcement team received a call to say that FedEx were delivering a 2lb package of puff, bound from California. The parcel was intercepted when a police dog was used to sniff it out, then the package was opened to check the contents, and reassembled for delivery to the person named on the address label.

The lucky recipient was Frank Hess, who was arrested after taking the package from the porch. He acknowledged he was expecting the package and said he knew it contained marijuana. Of course, what he should of said was, "Sorry, you just missed Frank, he emigrated yesterday." Still, what do I know.

He faces six years imprisonment for three felony charges: marijuana possession with intent to deliver, maintaining a drug trafficking place and possession of narcotic drugs.

thenorthwestern.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:29 AM | Permalink

In an attempt to keep his little girl safe, Britney Spears' father had banned her from using her car. Recently, however, his attitude softened and he gave his daughter "permission" to tool around the block in her car. (And we wonder why the girl fails to grow up!).

Anyway, Britney may be about to have her driving privileges revoked - she caused a minor accident on the LA Freeway yesterday evening when, in stop-and-go traffic, she forgot the 'stop' bit. She failed to stop her Mercedes in time, rear-ending the car in front, causing the car in front of her to rear end the car in front.....

Strangely, although the accident was attended by the California Highway Police, no tickets were issued. Wonder why that was then...

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:12 AM | Permalink

DON'T THROW THE BABY AT THOSE SAME SOCIAL WORKERS!

A teenage mother whose newborn baby was taken from her by social workers has been banned from seeing her son after she threw him across the room during a fight with the boy's father. The fight occurred while the parents were visiting the baby, who is currently in foster care, during a session supervised by social workers from Nottingham City Council in England.

According to a report by one of the social workers who was present at the supervised meeting, the father first threw the mobile phone charger at the woman. She then threw it back at him, just missing the head of the baby. She then grabbed the child and forcefully thrust him into a baby bouncer before taking him back into her arms.

When one of the social workers said "give me the baby", she threw the child at her from about 18in away. The social worker observed that she did this "without due care of where he was actually going to land and without supporting his head."

Shortly before the fight, the woman had been ordered by a judge to go on a residential course to assess her abilities as a parent but she had given up after three days. On transferring the hearing to the County Court, the judge said the woman would have to take on board the council's concerns about her behavior.

Hmm, the ball is now in her court, let's hope the baby isn't. A baby in her arms is a lethal weapon; I mean, it must hurt like hell getting hit by a flying baby.

Telegraph

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:16 AM | Permalink

Yu Bohuai, the general manager of a Shanghai chemical company, was arrested last July for selling fake Viagra tablets on the internet.

It is obviously a rising market, Bohuai made a profit of over $8,5000 through 2006/2007 by selling just over 14,000 tablets. On Thursday, he was jailed for two years; let's hope that the penal system doesn't make a hardened criminal out of him.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:05 AM | Permalink

In Colorado, a man created a disturbance at his ex-girlfriend's place of work because he disagreed with her choice of gang for their child.

Joseph Manzanares, 19, was fined $810 following his guilty plea to a charge of disorderly conduct; while arguing with his ex, he knocked over a computer and a magazine stand at the Hollywood Video, wheres his ex-girlfriend works.

The baby's mother says that she had split up with Manzanares, because she disagreed with his ideas on child rearing. When asked to be more specific, the woman said that the problem was caused by the fact that she and her ex boyfriend belonged to different street gangs - they could not agree on which gang the child should belong to.

Didn't somebody called Shakespeare write a play about that very problem?

UPI

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 12:08 PM | Permalink

In Florida, a 43 year old woman has been charged with attacking her estranged husband with a bar of soap.

Cheryl Ann Lunderman broke into her ex-husband's home at about 9.30 one evening last week and went to the bathroom, where her husband was having a shower. She then proceeded to hit him in the face with an unwrapped bar of soap, bruising his right eye. Before their separation, the couple had been together for over twenty years.

Lunderman has been charged with battery, and burglary to an occupied dwelling.

And, at her trial, scheduled for May 16, she'd better not try any of that soft soap stuff on the judge.

tampasbays10

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:47 AM | Permalink

Twenty-one year old Joey Van den Broeck was charged with assaulting his girlfriend and resisting arrest, and was summoned to appear in court.

When Van den Broeck failed to arrive for his hearing, the judge chose to continue the trial in his absence, handing down a sentence of eight months in prison, together with a $900 fine.

There was a slight problem though - Van den Broeck had died in a car crash. On balance, I suspect he'd be happy to pay his fine and do his time.

Ananova

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:33 AM | Permalink

It sounds like pure cinema, a wigged and gowned London judge stared down from the bench onto a Stormtrooper in London on Tuesday.

Well, he stared down onto a Stormtrooper costume and nine masks anyway, as the breach of copyright case between Star Wars' George Lucas and props designer Andrew Ainsworth got underway.

Ainsworth is charged with breach of copyright because he sells replicas of the Star Wars characters from his London studio but he argues that copyright has expired and, anyway, it belongs to him, and not to George Lucas.

Lucas and his associates have already won a $20 million claim against Ainsworth.

I think Ainsworth should beware of the dark side.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:18 AM | Permalink

mix a "shitload of alcohol" with your antibiotics

That is what Mischa Barton said caused her hospital admission on Memorial Day weekend in 2007. She doesn't say what was the cause behind her three other charges of DUI. However, she has, apparently, agreed to serve three years probation for DUI, which will earn her escape from a marijuana possession charge and help her to avoid jail.

Silly me, I thought she was serving the probation because she had realized the wrongs of her ways. Ah, well...

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 07:15 AM | Permalink

After her latest violent outburst, British Airways have banned Naomi Campbell from using the airline. Her latest outburst, last week in the trouble-stricken new Heathrow Terminal Five, culminated in her assaulting a police officer.

Campbell hoped that the situation could be "resolved amicably," however, BA don't seem to want to be friends with the violent and abusive catwalk model.

Given the debacle over the opening of Terminal Five, I can't help wondering if this situation is being used as a smokescreen for BA. With hundreds of flights canceled and tens of thousands of bags gone missing, they're probably grateful for the light entertainment provided by Campbell.

Campbell will probably be delighted to hear that a large percentage of the missing bags have turned up in Madrid - the home of high fashion.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 07:06 AM | Permalink

Twenty-seven year old William Singalargh has been arrested in New Zealand for assault with a weapon, after throwing a hedgehog at a fifteen-year old boy.

The boy sustained a large, red welt and several puncture marks. It is not known whether the hedgehog was dead or alive when the incident commenced, but it was dead when it was collected for evidence.

Singalargh faces a maximum penalty of five years in prison.

nzherald

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:27 AM | Permalink

While passing time waiting for the Golden Pantry Convenience Store to empty so that he could burglarize it in peace, Demetrius Robinson filled out a job application form that he found there.

Once the store had emptied, Robinson took out his knife and held up the store but, when he made his getaway, he left the application form behind. The form gave a fictitious address, but it did give Robinson's name and his uncle's phone number.

He'll be managing the place next week, you wait and see.

chron.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:14 AM | Permalink

Poor thing, the snakewas only six months old and it probably saw things that made its eyes pop out as it left the shop. You see, a woman visited Preuss Pets and obviously fell in love with the baby Boa Constrictor, so she put it down her pants and stole it.

She might have enjoyed it more if it had been a Rattler. It brings a flush to my cheeks just thinking about it!

Wilx.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:14 AM | Permalink

Nicholas Cage has won and apology and damages from actress Kathleen Turner following the claims she made about him in her autobiography. The actress not only said that the actor had twice been arrested for drunk driving, but also that he had once stolen a chihuahua.

Not that Nicholas Cage read Ms Turner's autobiography; the offending piece appeared in English newspaper, The Daily Mail, which serialized the book. The extract appeared under the headline, "Why I hate Burt Reynolds and Nicholas Cage."

Hmm - perhaps she'll write a sequel - "Why I hate Nicholas Cage even more than before."

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:26 AM | Permalink

He seemed such a nice young man that 59 year old Marketa Vachova invited him to join her with a cup of tea and a piece of cake; this despite the fact that the man's face was hidden by a Spiderman mask and he was demanding money from her with menaces.

Vachova said "I asked him why he was doing this and we got talking. There was no one else in the shop so I guess he relaxed a bit, and in the end he apologized."

Well, despite his apology, Spiderman is facing 10 years for armed robbery - as soon as police catch him. It seems they should just offer him tea and cake, which he is apparently unable to refuse.

Ananova

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:15 AM | Permalink

In Palo Alto, California, the robber of Wachovia Bank made an unusual getaway - he was last seen motoring down a nearby street toward a major thoroughfare in his electric wheelchair.. Witnesses say that the man's legs were swathed in bandages, and his right leg was sticking out. Police believe that he may have been hoisted into a white Ford and are undecided whether the wheelchair was a prop or the man is truly disabled.

It hardly matters as to his leg status - he succeeded and, I imagine, he laughed all the way from the bank.

My Way News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:08 AM | Permalink

In Lake George, New York State, The Lone Bull Pancake & Steak House was a growing business: marijuana growing business that is.

Bruce E. Nelson the owner; his son, Ryan B. Nelson; and the son’s half-brother, Logan H. Doetsch, were all arrested by officers of the Warren County Sheriff’s Office Narcotics Enforcement Unit. Not only did the police find 500 growing cannabis plants, together with the necessary light and heat paraphernalia used to grow the dope, they also found several pounds of the drug all packed up and ready to go.

Oh, they found large quantities of magic mushrooms too!

Bet the mushroom soup was popular!

Post Star

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:47 AM | Permalink

or rather, that's what our loved one's put us in for our last journey.

And it's little facts like this that ruin the best laid plans of some criminals.

In Spain, a would-be burglar alerted neighbors to his presence when he broke into a funeral home and the police were called to investigate. In an effort to evade detection our criminal lay on a table in a glass fronted cabinet and pretended to be dead.

The police weren't fooled though, as a spokesman said, "The custom here is for dead people to be dressed in suits, in nice clothes that look presentable. This guy was in everyday clothes that were wrinkled and dirty."

Oh, and dead people don't breath either - our burglar forgot that little detail too.

Fox News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:34 AM | Permalink

South Carolina authorities report that a man robbed a bank when his check for $173 cash bounced. When the man gave the teller the rubber check on Monday morning, the teller couldn't cash it due to lack of funds in the account. The customer said he had to have the money or else he would be killed. He then wrote a note saying that he was robbing the bank.

The teller handed over some money and then the man ran away. Police have a suspect, but nobody has been arrested.

Hmm - seems like a plan, eh?

chron.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:47 AM | Permalink

I've labeled this one Dumb Justice, but I'm not really sure where it belongs!

A pre-packed building was delivered to the Austrian village of Traismauer. The packages contained component parts of an anti-crime youth center, purchased by the local authorities in an attempt to get kids off the street, thereby halting a rising tide of vandalism. Unfortunately, in the few hours between delivery of the flat packs and the arrival of workmen to erect the building, the packages were stolen.

Police are not ruling out the possibility that the thieves were the very children that the building was purchased to help.

Well, that deduction wasn't really rocket science, was it!

Ananova

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:35 AM | Permalink

The British have suspected it for years but now their suspicions have been confirmed by the highest court in the land. Paul Burrell is a liar. This man, Princess Diana's alleged 'rock' has spent the years since her death cashing in on his privileged relationship with the Princess.

Yesterday, in his summing up speech at the Diana Inquest, Lord Justice Scott Baker said it was "blindingly obvious" that butler Paul Burrell — who was more concerned with exploiting his connection to Diana — "hadn't told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth" during three days of testimony.

Well, hallelujah, it's about time that this obsequious man had the shabby truth revealed. He is still making money from his connections to the Princess, with his Royal Butler Collection. It's telling though that he spends more time in the US than he does in the UK - we saw through him years ago.

Mohammad Al Fayed should put him on the payroll - takes one deluded idiot to recognize another one.

Paul Burrell may or may not have been Diana's rock. Diana is certainly Paul Burrell's pension.

MSNBC

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:30 AM | Permalink

Art Price Jr was filmed laying the table, but he was not setting it with knives and forks etc - he was having sex with it!

Price was seen having sex with the table on several occasions before a neighbor filmed him in the act. The table at the mercy of Mr Price's sexual fervor was a picnic table, with a round hole where one would (usually) put the umbrella. It wasn't an umbrella that Price was putting in the hole though...

40 year old Mr Price faces four charges of public indecency. I hope the table is receiving adequate counseling.

Ananova

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:23 AM | Permalink